Solutions

<Mathematician> If you keep eating nonstop until you've eaten your weight in food, you'll never actually stop, because your weight increases linearly with your food intake.

<Programmer> Nonsense. The user just needs to make sure he's releasing a constant stream of poop so that the weight stays down.

<NetworkAdmin> No, there's too much latency. What you need to do is connect the throat directly to the colon, and make sure it's a big enough pipe.

<Director> Do we really need the person at all?

Noisy Bar

"This music bores me. Let's have some sex."

"What?"

"You know, saxophones? A little jazz would be a nice change in mood. Oh, speaking of which, are you looking forward to sex as much as I am?"

"What?"

"Six o'clock is when the live band gets here. If they're good, I think we're going to have some really dirty sex by the time the night is over."

"What?"

"You didn't know? It's tradition to dance in our socks here. That is, if the music is good. Or, we could always leave if it's sex."

"Uh... if it... OH! Yeah, sure. Absolutely."

"Sweet. I'll go grab the condoms."

PITA

Detail is animal cruelty.