2012-09-28

Free way

Did you know that driving 5 MPH over the speed limit on the freeway KILLS PEOPLE?

Driving 5 MPH over the speed limit on the freeway causes vehicular manslaughter, and you could face severe penalties. You wouldn't deliberately murder someone with your car, but driving 5 MPH over the speed limit does kill people.

You might assume that the penalties for driving 5 MPH over the speed limit are equivalent to a single vehicular manslaughter charge, but think again: Every time you drive 5 MPH over the speed limit, it directly leads other drivers to do the same thing. So really, you're causing COUNTLESS cases of vehicular manslaughter, and you will suffer appropriate consequences. We estimate that driving 5 MPH over the speed limit on the freeway costs us billions of lives every year.

Start driving under the speed limit. It's the law.

Reckoning

Bane: I'm Gotham's reckoning.

Batman: More like Gotham's WRECKoning!

Bane: That's... that's what I said.

Batman: No, WRECKoning!

Bane: I said reckoning.

Batman: No, look-- ugh... It... Trust me, it's funny in writing.

Bane: In writing? Ohhh, a pun. Yes, that is quite amusing. You should be a comic.

Batman: Actually, I am. ;D

2012-09-26

The World of Tomorrow

Welcome to a strange new world. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the World of Tomorrow.

There are no newspapers in the World of Tomorrow. Instead, folks will get their news from the television screen. Dozens of television stations will broadcast the daily news 24 hours a day, so you can catch it at your convenience.

As the housewife becomes the working woman, she will have less time to cook a family meal. But that's not a problem, because in the World of Tomorrow, there's a Restaurant of Tomorrow on every street. The efficient Restaurant of Tomorrow can prepare a delicious meal in one minute flat, saving you time and effort.

And how about raising children in the World of Tomorrow? Well, the public education system will take care of those little guys, providing them with food, entertainment, and even a moral compass.

So, get ready to live in the World of Tomorrow. It's closer than you think.

2012-09-15

I hear it's delicious

Why won't Santa's helpers go to Pennsylvania?

Because that's where they have Filleted-elfia.