2014-06-17

dinner.prepare();

<Me> Hello language, could you please prepare dinner?

<Java> Hang on. .......................................................... No, you idiot! You can't just ask me that. Please create some kind of work ticket and prepare a ticket delivery mechanism to send it to me. I'll look at it when I get around to it, but if your request doesn't strictly adhere to my contract, I'll throw a fit and quit.

<PHP> Yes sir, I'll do my best. If you want, I can tell you if I encounter any issues, but I'll try to get something made anyway. Let's see. "Peel the onions." It must mean these long green things. I'm not sure if they can be peeled, but here goes..

<JavaScript> Let me call myself first. Okay, I'm here. I'll just take your request and (do work here). Okay, now I'll build the tools I'll need from rocks and sticks. There we go. I'll call you when the task is finished, but you might not know you're you.

<Assembly> I place a potato on the counter. I step to the side. I place a potato on the counter. I step to the side. I place a potato on the-- *dies*

<CSS> Simple. First, I'll put these ingredients in the pot... Oh, these two ingredients seem to be clashing. I know, I could wrap this one in rice paper! No, that somehow made it worse. Let's try putting them in separate pots. Oh, but this other ingredient required them being together. Maybe I should try getting a second opinion. ...It seems he's allergic...

2014-06-09

There she goes, that baby girl

A gay couple is suing Lady Gaga after accidentally placing their adopted infant on the Northbound train instead of the Southbound, despite Gaga's assurances that their baby was on the right track.