2007-08-11

Global Warming

Contributing factors to global warming:

  • Carbon emissions from vehicles.
  • Cow farts.
  • Disco (disco is dead, but the damage has been done).
  • Greenhouses.
  • Katie Price Jordan.
  • Declining global pirate population (software pirates don't count unless they're dressed in full pirate garb and using wifi on genuine pirate ships).
  • Walking to the grocery store.
  • Steorn's free energy creation machine (See a demo).
  • God's infinite and unfocused rage against people using their body parts for pleasure instead of their original core purpose (I'm talking about you, gum chewers; swallow or spit it out!)
  • Firefox.
  • The invisible Dyson sphere around our solar system, whose existence NASA has conspired to cover up.
  • Terrorists.
  • You. (See: Terrorists)
  • The increasing amount of buildings and paved roads which retain more heat than dirt and plants. Hey, who knows?
  • The melting polar caps. I always see ice melting when it gets hot, so the melting probably causes the heat.
  • Al Gore's plane trips.
  • Bears.

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