Heh-heh

Condi told me something funny the other day. She said-- this is what she told me: "We have a window of opportunity in Iran, so we should crack open the window and reinstate a draft." Heh-heh.

Confession

I know this may seem sudden to you, but it's something I've been feeling for a long time. It's been hard to find the confidence to tell you this, because I'm not sure how you'll respond, but please consider what I have to say. When I first saw you at the dance last year, I felt something I'd never felt before. It was like a warm glow inside me. The way your eyes seem to light up when you smile, it's almost as if I'm watching an angel playing in the clouds. And no matter what your answer may be, I want you to hear me and know how I feel about you: I want to bang your ass.

I think I need a better transition from the clouds part into the next sentence. What do you think?

Hell of a deal

I sold my soul to the devil, but it broke JUST after the warranty expired. He was so pissed.

Cue the catchy beeps and boops

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the FreeNode network proudly presents our spectacular blossoming gallery of style and content separation in thousands of unordered lists and proper hierarchically structured headings and divs... The FreeNode semantical parade!

The war on llama snatchers

I'm looking for a llama, kidnapped by Osama, no doubt going through trauma and calling for his mama.

I'll point you to his shack-a, but if you go attack-a, don't mess up and bring back a lousy old alpaca.

You have ten seconds to get it

A slow guy with a knife is a risk, but a fast guy with a knife is a f*.

Retrovision

If we have 20/20 hindsight, why are people so bad at history?

DIS 29500

No

We landed on the moon!

The U.S. government has a lot of the public convinced that mankind has yet to set foot on the moon. I urge you all to not buy into their lies! As it turns out, NASA has a high-resolution video of astronauts landing on the moon. The video has made its way into the public via some lower-resolution recordings of the video playing on a TV set. They're a bit blurry, but believe me, they're real! And now, NASA claims that it doesn't have the video. Don't buy into the government conspiracy! Mankind has landed on the moon.