Suits

Oracle has filed a lawsuit against game developer Markus Persson, citing an object class member that violates the Java licensing agreement. The filing, which was published on the Oracle website Saturday afternoon, explains that an Oracle employee was in the process of auditing Persson's decompiled Java code during one of their routine inspections, when the auditor discovered a class field that was declared public.

"It's unfortunate," said James Gosling, who is credited with inventing the Java language, "but this rule has been in the Java EULA for a long time. Sun used to be pretty relaxed about this sort of stuff, but Oracle believes in enforcing the rules, and that's what they're doing."

We weren't able to reach Oracle for comment, because we couldn't afford the upgrade to their premium PR product.

Life

Life isn't complicated.

That is, unless you try to make it complicated.

That is, unless you are terrible at making it complicated.

That is, unless you get lucky and make it complicated anyway.

That is, unless what you've made complicated was actually a subjective interpretation of life and not really life itself.

That is, unless life itself is defined by how you experience it.

That is, unless that very idea implies that life is solely what you make of it and is therefore fundamentally uncomplicated.

That is, unless your very thoughts are products of complicated factors and not entirely within your control.

That is, unless you realize that it just isn't worth stressing over, and you let life be life.

It isn't that complicated.

How it works

Dippin' Dots are made by feeding ice cream to rabbits.

Causes of death

Guns don't kill people, insufficient oxygen flow to vital organs due to excessive blood loss through bullet wounds kills people.

Hurricane Earl

There once was a storm in Nantucket
we feared would hit hard once it struck it.
The media stressed,
but it turned for the best:
the rain barely filled up a bucket.

Sharing is bad

If Bob were to download child pornography on BitTorrent, he would be violating U.S. federal law. The logic behind that law is that downloading and sharing the content -- without even paying the creator of that content -- would lead to *increased* profits toward the content creator, which would in turn lead to *more* of it being produced.

If Bob were to download copyrighted music on BitTorrent, he would be violating U.S. federal law. The logic behind that law is that downloading and sharing the content -- without even paying the creator of that content -- would lead to *decreased* profits toward the content creator, which would in turn lead to *less* of it being produced.

...wait.

Legal question

Two super hot girls are having consensual sex with each other. Suddenly, girl A grabs you and forces you to go down on both of them (although you are perfectly fine with this turn of events). However, girl B only wants to have sex with girl A, not you, even though it's girl A that's making you have sex with girl B.

Is someone being raped here? If so, who, and by whom?

Julian Assange

Wikileaks rapin' errbody out herr!