Outside the box

Squares come in all shapes and sizes.

Taken

I love freedom. I love democracy. I love opportunity. I love safety. I love trust. I love goodwill. I love love.

America scares me these days.

Disclaimer

It has come to my attention that some people think trout are meant to fly here. I must say that you are sorely mistaken. You hereby have no right to persue legal action against the lack of aerial trout on this site. All trout are required to stay indoors after hours and always wear seatbelts and helmets. Violators will be dealt with harshly and eaten. Believe me, it hurts me more than it hurts you. I hate seafood.

Penetration of the Innermost Salmon

I finally finished the dictionary. The zygote did it.

NOOOOO, you spoiled the ending!! I will kill you!!

You can't kill me, I have a shiny spoon.

My reflection appears upside-down and I am defeated!

I deserve a crown and oreos for my valiant deeds.

Oreos are trademarked. You can't eat trademarks. It's impolite.

Look, a vast array of jellybeans riding an intergalactic moose.

Don't tell me what to do.

IMPACT!!

Ouch.

Hello, I am the intergalactic moose. Do you know the way to San Jose?

Yes, moose, it is that way!

Why thank you, kind si- WAIT A MINUTE! You're eating a trademark. That is not acceptible. I will now destroy your whole planet, even all the fruit.

That's okay, I don't like fruit.

What do you like?

Oreos.

I'll destroy those too.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

?

?

Just kidding! I can't destroy your planet. I'm a moose!

Haha, I was kidding too, I don't really exist. You're hallucinating.

Augh. I knew there was no such thing as humans on Earth. I think it's

Prudence

Gahrrr, don't you talk to my banana like that, you mouthwatering fiesta!

Completion

Misshapen, uneven, with pins stuck in randomly, slowly unraveling, and a ball on a string hanging off one end, it was finally finished.

Cheated By Physics, Part 1

Speed is the distance divided by the length of time. Time is a unit of length as well, but in a different dimension. A unit of length divided by a unit of length yields no units. So speed is a constant. If speed is a constant, you can't change speed; acceleration and deceleration is an illusion and impossible.

It's the truth, officer.

Absence

They are on a perilous journey from which they may never return. Or under the cushion.